SRA 2020

“Pray forgive me, Miss Manette. I break down before the knowledge of what I want to say to you. Will you hear me?” A Tale of Two Cities

“‘I have no doubt the classics are very desirable for people who have leisure. But, I confess, it was against my judgment that my son renewed his study of them. The time and place in which he lives, seem to me to require all his energy and attention. Classics may do very well for men who loiter away their lives in the country or in colleges; but Milton men ought to have their thoughts and powers absorbed in the work of to-day. At least, that is my opinion.’ This last clause she gave out with ‘the pride that apes humility.’” North and South

“As for being poisoned by a book, there is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon action. It annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. That is all. But we won’t discuss literature” The Picture of Dorian Gray

“When he was quite a little fellow, he learned to read; and after that he used to lie on the hearth-rug, in the evening, and read aloud—sometimes stories, and sometimes big books such as older people read, and sometimes even the newspaper; and often at such times Mary, in the kitchen, would hear Mrs. Errol laughing with delight at the quaint things he said.” Little Lord Fauntleroy

“He actually intended to run away to a hermitage! He got the holy fever, used to stay up all night praying, reading the old, ‘true’ books, and lost all sense of reality.” Crime and Punishment

“I think the books are silly rubbish, but they do have their uses. For one thing, it makes life a lot easier for Muddles who are magical but don’t know it yet”. Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody

Dear The Pagemaster,

I want to, once again, offer my sincere thanks for your considered and delightful selection of texts for this year’s Summer Reading Adventure. Each item offered something new and entertained, captivated, or compelled me. All, bar one, were truly top-drawer choices and I’m very grateful to you for taking the time and sharing your literary world with me. As the report writing progressed, I may have begun to take further liberties with the concept of a paragraph. Please forgive me. As ever, all ratings are based on perceived quality and level of enjoyment.

1. A Tale of Two Cities

6/10

It had the best of Dicken’s characters… no wait. It didn’t. I enjoyed this book… but I didn’t love it. Incredible writing, but not terribly engaging.

Despite feeling conflicted about this book, I can’t mirror the done-to-death opening that remains powerful, notwithstanding its ubiquity in popular culture and humour. In many ways, this book is an incredible piece of literature, written to a very high standard with rich imagery, atmosphere, and descriptions, including spilled wine foreshadowing spilled blood and, generally, language that moves along at a very pleasant rhythm. The novel opens in a mysterious way that obscures as much as possible from the reader, however, as it progresses and we spend more time with its main characters, it is unable to shake this air of mystery, and I still didn’t feel that I knew them or connected with them. As to relating to a character, I guess it would have to be Mr. Jarvis Lorry. Afterall, he is strictly business. Some of the points in the book are hit a little too hard. We get it. The French elite are awful and living it up while the poor are, quite literally, crushed beneath their wheels. While the flow of the language is above criticism, the pace of the plot and story are not, and the novel only becomes tense, exciting, and emotional as it approaches its conclusion. With regard to certain plot elements, too, I was questioning their inclusion. The compulsive shoemaking was ridiculous, the ‘cat fight’ between Miss Pross and Madame Defarge was too much, and is Jerry Cruncher supposed to be sympathetic after beating his wife and robbing graves? Finally, when it came to Carton’s ‘tear jerking’ self-sacrifice, I felt nothing.

2. North and South

8/10

“We should understand each other better, and I’ll venture to say we should like each other more.” This ambitious text fully utilises its vivid characters to tell an emotional, compelling and satisfying story about the power of understanding.

While north and south are fixed points on a compass that can never be unified, the, apparently, divergent locations, classes, and behaviours described is this novel are reconciled through compassion, experience, and empathy. Indeed, the contrast between the busyness and activity of cities and quietness of the country; between poor Bessy and privileged Margaret – both 19 years’ of age; or between the simple workers, who feel they are trodden down, and their lofty masters; are all reconciled by the close of the novel, exemplified in the romantic relationship between unpolished Mr. Thornton and aloof Margaret. This is achieved through explorations of their differences and similarities and the relative merits and disadvantages of their respective characteristics. More notably, for me, was when Boucher describes Nicholas as a “worser tyrant than e’er th’ masters were” for his union activity, revealing him to be hypocritical and a harsh judge of his employers. Unfortunately, I partially ruined this book on myself by watching the series first. While it was very pleasant and enjoyable to read, there was no surprise with the plot. The writing was very competent and clear, but not quite as flowery and rich as I like it. With regard to strong characters, it was the tiny details that brought them to life. Out of the many moments I could relay, such as Dixon and Margaret’s rivalry concerning Mrs. Hale, I choose this, when Mr. Hale, the coward, appeals to Margaret to tell Mrs. Hale that they must leave Helston. “Mr. Hale would have delayed making it till half-past six, but Margaret was of different stuff. She could not bear the impending weight on her mind all the day long”. She’s got to get it out of the way as soon as possible and it makes her feel so real. While reading, I very strongly related to John Thornton and think he is a class act. I somewhat adhere to this views, offered as various points, of the strength of character or “iron nature” that is required for achievement by any self-made person. “Now when I feel that in my own case it is no good luck, nor merit, nor talent,—but simply the habits of life which taught me to despise indulgences not thoroughly earned,—indeed, never to think twice about them… I do not look on self-indulgent, sensual people as worthy of my hatred; I simply look upon them with contempt for their poorness of character.” Finally, Frederick belongs behind bars. He did the crime, but he won’t do the time thanks to an underhanded cover up. #Justice4Leonards

3. The Picture of Dorian Gray

9/10

The only thing in the world worse than talking about this book, is not talking about it. It is sharp, satirical, and utterly remarkable, concluding its commentary on morality and the relationship between art and the artist, in a thoroughly satisfying way.

Numerous exchanges between characters in this novel appear only to be vehicles for humorous lines or pithy insights. Indeed, at one point Dorian says, “You would sacrifice anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram”, and one can’t help feeling this also applies to the author. Notable examples included, “But I can’t help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves”; “When Aunt Agatha sits down to the piano she makes quite enough noise for two people”; “Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing”; “Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed”; “When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance”; “There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love”; “It is perfectly monstrous,” he said, at last, “the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely and entirely true”; “’And what does she get annoyed with you about, Duchess?’ ‘For the most trivial things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because I come in at ten minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by half-past eight’”; “To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable”. I’ll have to stop there, though I have many more examples of razor sharp moments of hilarity in my notes. For the most part, the quality and beauty of the writing was breath-taking, such as when Dorian waxes lyrical about Sybil Vane’s voice. “I never heard such a voice. It was very low at first, with deep mellow notes, that seemed to fall singly upon one’s ear. Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a distant hautbois. In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy that one hears just before dawn when nightingales are singing. There were moments, later on, when it had the wild passion of violins. You know how a voice can stir one.” While, at times the book could be thrilling, like when Dorian is being pursued or stalked by James Vane and his face appears at the window of the conservatory, one part did drag a little for me. This was the lengthy chapter discussing how Dorian engaged with music and performance and that overviewed his jewels and other treasures.

4. Little Lord Fauntleroy

5/10

Charming, heart-warming, and sugar sweet. While this text is not high-brow literature, its delightful and touching little tale goes down easily.

Cedric’s care, compassion, and charity for those around him is genuinely moving. When told by Mr. Havisham, he has the finances to do whatever he wants, he directs them to helping a family, a bootblack, and ‘the apple-woman’. If she were the Apple-woman she’d be sorted financially thanks to rip-off electronics and devices. Throughout the book he just goes around winning people over, including non-human animals, like Dougal the dawg. Further, he shows himself to be a true-blue playa by making moves on Miss Vivian Herbert, “’Come here, Lord Fauntleroy,’ she said, smiling; ‘and tell me why you look at me so.’ ‘I was thinking how beautiful you are,’ his young lordship replied. Then all the gentlemen laughed outright, and the young lady laughed a little too, and the rose color in her cheeks brightened.” No wonder it is said of Cedric, that “a foiner little felly niver sthipped in shoe-leather”. Though, allegedly, a book for children, there were some serious adult moments (“Perhaps it was this the old man remembered as he glanced through the divided folds of the red curtain of his pew. Many times he looked over the people’s heads to where his son’s wife sat alone, and he saw the fair face the unforgiven dead had loved, and the eyes which were so like those of the child at his side”) and even a couple of tearful moments. Most notably, when Dearest is invited to come and live at the castle and when she is first visited by the Earl, “’Yes, he is fond of me,’ he said, ‘and I am fond of him. I can’t say I ever was fond of anything before. I am fond of him. He pleased me from the first. I am an old man, and was tired of my life. He has given me something to live for. I am proud of him. I was satisfied to think of his taking his place some day as the head of the family.’” Thankfully, there was plenty of comedy, too. Examples are Mr. Hobbs mistaking ‘ancestors’ and ‘aunt’s sisters’ and when Cedric and the Earl are at the church. Cedric reads, “’Here lyeth ye bodye of Gregorye Arthure Fyrst Earle of Dorincourt Allsoe of Alisone Hildegarde hys wyfe.” and suggests, “’perhaps I got my spelling from them.’” The characters is most to related to were; Mr. Hobbs, who is described as “not a clever man nor even a bright one; he was, indeed, rather a slow and heavy person, and he had never made many acquaintances. He was not mentally energetic enough to know how to amuse himself, and in truth he never did anything of an entertaining nature but read the newspapers and add up his accounts.”; and the Earl. “He was thinking of the old Earl of Dorincourt, sitting in his great, splendid, gloomy library at the castle, gouty and lonely, surrounded by grandeur and luxury, but not really loved by any one, because in all his long life he had never really loved any one but himself; he had been selfish and self-indulgent and arrogant and passionate”. If the shoe fits. The plotline with Minna and impostor Lord Fauntleroy (iLF) is vague, but, on the surface, it seems to make no sense. I referred to this part of the story as Fast and Furious Presents: Mr. Hobbs and Dick, as they conduct some solo investigative work. What’s the timeline? Minna is violent and leaves Ben going to the UK. It seems she takes iLF and sticks him somewhere, gets married, and then comes back for him to pull off her scam. I have so many questions about this, but it is too heavily obscured by the author to interpolate a satisfying answer.

5. Crime and Punishment

7/10

A strange and uncomfortable story which illustrates that the punishment we give ourselves is worse than anything that can be imposed upon us.

Right of the bat, I want to give a shout out the Penguin Classics edition of this novel that I read. It has excellent footnotes and annotations that really helped me comprehend the historical, geographic, and social context of the story. Parts of this story were distressing and horrifying to me. I’m a slightly squeamish reader and I don’t generally encounter any violence or murder in my usual fare. The dream horse being flogged and killed was horrible as was the extreme violence of the central murder(s). Indeed, when Rodion is en route to committing the crime, the tension is turned up to 11, and I was vicariously feeling stress for him when people were trying to enter the locked door in its immediate aftermath. “‘Crime? What crime?’ he exclaimed in a sudden fit of fury. ‘My killing a loathsome, harmful louse, a filthy old moneylender woman who brought no good to anyone, to murder whom would pardon forty sins, who sucked the lifeblood of the poor, and you call that a crime?” Later, during penal servitude, Rodion clarifies his crime. “Though of course in that case a great many of mankind’s benefactors who did not inherit power but took it for themselves ought to have been executed at their very first steps. But those people had the courage of their convictions, and so they were right, while I didn’t, and consequently had no right to take the step I did.’ This was the one respect in which he admitted to any crime: in not having had the courage of his convictions and in having turned himself in.” As for the punishment part, it certainly isn’t referring to the lenient 8 years of penal servitude in Siberia, rather it was the almost unendurable mental ramifications. “A certainty that everything, even his memory, even the simple faculty of reason, was deserting him had begun to torment him unendurably. ‘What, is it really beginning now, is this the punishment beginning? Yes, yes, I knew it!’”. Later, “‘all this must be brought to an end today, in one go, right now; otherwise I can’t go home, because I don’t want to go on living like this’. How was he to bring it to an end? With what means? He had not the slightest idea, and he did not want to think about it, either. He drove the thought away: thought tormented him. All he could do was feel, knowing that, whatever else happened, the situation must be changed, ‘by whatever means possible’, he kept repeating with a desperate, obsessive self-confidence and resolve”. Overall, I have to say that this book did not really connect with me. The story feels so far removed from my reality as to be almost completely unrelatable in every way. The world in which it is set is gross with its poverty, filth, and cramped spaces. As you are aware, I engage fully with all prescribed texts and, consequently, for this item, I went to my brimming digital book case, took down my copy of Vladimir Nabokov’s Lectures on Russian Literature, blew the dust off, and attained the view of a renowned literary critic. “My position in regard to Dostoevski is a curious and difficult one. In all my courses I approach literature from the only point of view that literature interests me—namely the point of view of enduring art and individual genius. From this point of view Dostoevski is not a great writer, but a rather mediocre one—with flashes of excellent humor, but, alas, with wastelands of literary platitudes in between. In Crime and Punishment Raskolnikov for some reason or other kills an old female pawnbroker and her sister. Justice in the shape of an inexorable police officer closes slowly in on him until in the end he is driven to a public confession, and through the love of a noble prostitute he is brought to a spiritual regeneration that did not seem as incredibly banal in 1866 when the book was written as it does now when noble prostitutes are apt to be received a little cynically by experienced readers… Dostoevski’s characters have yet another remarkable feature: throughout the book they do not develop as personalities. We get them all complete at the beginning of the tale, and so they remain without any considerable changes although their surroundings may alter and the most extraordinary things may happen to them. In the case of Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment, for instance, we see a man go from premeditated murder to the promise of an achievement of some kind of harmony with the outer world, but all this happens somehow from without: innerly even Raskolnikov does not go through any true development of personality, and the other heroes of Dostoevski do even less so… The only thing that develops, vacillates, takes unexpected sharp turns, deviates completely to include new people and circumstances, is the plot”. Here, Nabokov criticises Rodion’s rationale for the murder, but I can accept the character’s confusion and that his attempts to justify things to himself change as his original ideology was insufficiently developed. Comedically, with all the names, I got frequently confused as to who was mammy and who was Dunya when only the name and patronymic was used and, as ‘Sofya’ and ‘Sonya’ are used interchangeably and without warning, I almost had to go back and check I was reading the names correctly. When Arkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov shows up, it took quite a while for the penny to drop and for me to recall it was the perv that Dunya previously worked for. That’s one area where I really have to compliment the book. It uses its limited number of elaborated characters very effectively and it’s a reflection on me and my attention that I didn’t recall Svidrigailov. Of note, Rodion is so young. I don’t know if you caught this, but towards the end, the text reads, “An anxiety with no object or purpose in the present, and in the future nothing but endless sacrifice, by means of which he would attain nothing – that was what his days on earth held in store for him. And what of the fact that in eight years’ time he would only be thirty-two and would be able to resume his life again? What good was life to him? What prospects did he have?” You don’t need advanced mathematics to calculate that Rodion was 24 during this story. While Sonya was my favourite character and I enjoyed the sections with her the most, Porfiry Petrovich really got under my skin and I found him very annoying. He was sort of like a Colombo character that just wouldn’t give Rodion a break and was hoping to annoy him into a confession with his, “tee hee hee” laughter. Very pleased to say I learned some new words by reading this text, ‘auscultated’ and ‘gewgaw’. Finally, there was some comedy in the book, such as Dunya attempting to shoot Svidrigailov with all the delays and weapon malfunctions and when Rodion wakes up like an anti-christ, “Next morning he woke up late after a troubled sleep that did not refresh him. He awoke feeling bilious, shorttempered and uncharitable, and surveyed his little room with detestation”.

6. Barry Trotter and The Shameless Parody

1/10

There are bad books and there are bad books. Hidden just under the surface of this immature, vulgar, and poorly constructed text, there is something really interesting about importance of literature in an age of multimedia and movie tie-ins. Accordingly, I argue that it belongs the former category of bad.

The book opens by saying, “[i]t is poorly written, incredibly crass, and contains jokes about bodily functions that would embarrass a five-year old”. This, unfortunately, is true. Towards the beginning, I felt bad for Bumblemore being surrounded by the characters he is. However, I lost this sympathy early in when I learned he was just as bad as the rest. I didn’t even care that, after he had eaten a trick candy, he had “grown an extra (non-functioning, thank God) penis”. I just had to accept that this was what I was reading. Critically, the book came across as very low-effort as there were many spelling and grammatical errors, aside from the nonsense plot and lack of characterisation. The main ‘joke’ was, ‘how funny is taking characters and locations that you are familiar with in Harry Potter and changing them minimally to avoid copyright infringement. With the regard to the other ‘jokes’, I grouped them into the following categories, including notable examples of each. Please note that some encompass multiple categories. 1. Actual violence/injury or hoping for violence/injury against another character, “maybe old Snipe’s got cancer of the wand”; 2. Characters with low intelligence or are mentally disabled, “Miss Cringer is teaching at a remedial wizards school outside Hogsbleede”; 3. Blatant or thinly veiled sexual references, “stayed far away from the infamous Buggering Bitch”, a sentient tree; 4. Juvenille humour, “’Do you know I had to deliver a baby this morning? Very messy business, Muddle birth… I nearly threw up on it”, or a Snoop Dogg equivalent character called ‘Poop Dogg’; 4. Toilet humour, e.g., a run in with ‘Flatulent Fanny’. “’Ohhh,’ Fanny moaned as another gastric salvo sputtered to life… Everybody hates me [ploot!] but it’s not my fault,’ Fanny said weakly. ‘I’m lactose intolerant [brrrip].’” She is not the only lactose intolerant character in the text; 5. References to genitals, “Earwig had been confined to Barry’s room since she went for Dorco Malfeasence’s [sic] soft bits five years ago”. 6. Poor hygiene, “what makes He-Who-Smells so evil?”; 7. People who are crazy or mentally unsound, “hardened in Barry’s mind, from the merely eccentric to the genuine article, an A-1, government inspected, UL-laboratories tested nutbar”, “that 62 IQ really paid off”. Nevertheless, I have to put my hands up and own up to getting a couple of chuckles from the text. The inclusion of shoehorned in characters to address issues with diversity in the Barry Trotter universe, deconstructing Quiddit as a narrative device, a sequel to Citizen Kane, and the lines; “If you were rich, you could afford to send your kids to the few ‘magical academies,’ but for these the waiting list started at conception. Or before, if you believe in astrology and oracles”; “His teeth were bad enough to make a third-world dentist gag”; were somewhat amusing to me. All things considered, botched circumcisions, bowel blocker hexes, etc., the book has almost no literary merit. “I will not repeat the exact words and phrases, but I assure you that they conjure up images of enduring foulness and represent the outer bounds of verbal depravity”.

“your afechshnet old frend

Cedric Errol

p s no one is in the dungon my granfarfher never had any one langwishin in there.

p s he is such a good earl he reminds me of you he is a unerversle favrit”. Little Lord Fauntleroy

“‘Yes, it’s time I was going,’ Raskolnikov muttered. ‘Forgive me for troubling you…’” Crime and Punishment

Dr. The Gipper