The Chronicles of Blarnia

0/10

Quite literary (‘literally’ surely? Ed.) a waste of time. Offensive, pathetic, mean-spirited, immature, and howlingly unfunny.

Even with CensorVision, this pitiful book contained language and sentiments that were objectionable and repulsive. The words ‘b*stard’, ‘w*nker’, and ‘bansh*te’ (whatever that is) were used. Further, elves urinating on cereal, children tripping on psychedelic banana peels, confusion when pointing out (“we prefer the term”) ‘dyke’ beavers, a centaur’s erection, and the not infrequent references to getting socked “in the goolies” completed this drudgery. Critically, the novel’s story was creatively bankrupt and relied too greatly on references to its source text, Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, and others. Ultimately, the story’s ‘humour’ was based on characters that were stupid, fat, or on sexual inuendos of some type. While the text was filled with unamusing recurring ‘jokes’, such as Loo’s deathwish, I did chuckle momentarily when the notion of a parliament for Blarnia was introduced and the inevitable factions that resulted. “Blame the author. I’ve found you really can’t trust him at all, even on the most basic stuff”.

fffff